So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
