I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize