let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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