he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
