I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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