wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
