none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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