I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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