Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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