and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
