this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
