I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
