when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing