dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?