Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
