Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.

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(954): I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay. http://tfl.nu/qnk1

Replies (32) Good night (1563) Bad night (5424)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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(816): I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are http://tfl.nu/18r6

Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (1655)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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(918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm

Replies (22) Good night (4445) Bad night (1244)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.

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(570): Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza. http://tfl.nu/epfb

Replies (8) Good night (2649) Bad night (875)
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(951): View more from California

I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.

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(951): I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's. http://tfl.nu/x6q1

Replies (18) Good night (3180) Bad night (1066)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"

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(732): Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??" http://tfl.nu/dlt9

Replies (7) Good night (1045) Bad night (541)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.

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(602): I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night. http://tfl.nu/7hpm

Replies (5) Good night (1564) Bad night (645)
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(917): View more from New York City

Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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(917): Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am. http://tfl.nu/94x6

Replies (2) Good night (1475) Bad night (679)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"

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(+44): He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis" http://tfl.nu/c89r

Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (1063)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.

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(202): I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party. http://tfl.nu/j3cs

Replies (15) Good night (634) Bad night (1326)
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(574): View more from Indiana

IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.

(971): View more from Oregon

YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.

(574): View more from Indiana

NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

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(574): IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH. (971): YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH. (574): NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. http://tfl.nu/j0cd

Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (330)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you

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(513): I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you http://tfl.nu/l7rb

Replies (0) Good night (718) Bad night (242)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect

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(302): I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect http://tfl.nu/trg6

Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (278)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.

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(484): I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid. http://tfl.nu/c1yp

Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (268)
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(212): View more from New York

It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.

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(212): It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy. http://tfl.nu/fsqc

Replies (0) Good night (732) Bad night (276)

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