Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?

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(720): have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing? http://tfl.nu/o8yl

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(256): View more from Alabama

he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.

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(256): he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed. http://tfl.nu/1iir

Replies (31) Good night (887) Bad night (7078)
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(214): View more from Texas

new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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(214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. http://tfl.nu/1dnu

Replies (22) Good night (9450) Bad night (1150)
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(760): View more from California

when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.

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(760): when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice. http://tfl.nu/5xpe

Replies (21) Good night (7302) Bad night (1690)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.

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(573): I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him. http://tfl.nu/m4j0

Replies (3) Good night (1910) Bad night (1330)
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(813): View more from Florida

We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.

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(813): We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing. http://tfl.nu/09y7

Replies (4) Good night (1818) Bad night (632)
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(614): View more from Ohio

not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

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(614): not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin... http://tfl.nu/5fas

Replies (29) Good night (2995) Bad night (826)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.

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(412): You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you. http://tfl.nu/l1dm

Replies (7) Good night (692) Bad night (1078)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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(609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg

Replies (24) Good night (993) Bad night (422)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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(219): Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel. http://tfl.nu/qebb

Replies (8) Good night (2194) Bad night (563)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.

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(507): You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success. http://tfl.nu/320u

Replies (6) Good night (1507) Bad night (471)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people

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(610): At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people http://tfl.nu/kwkh

Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (706)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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(970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n

Replies (1) Good night (884) Bad night (371)
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(315): View more from New York

Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!

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(315): Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night! http://tfl.nu/mal7

Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (218)
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(706): View more from Georgia

The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.

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(706): The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done. http://tfl.nu/bycu

Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (205)

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