New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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