Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
