Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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