He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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