he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
