Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Damn victory sex feels great
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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