My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
