How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
