I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
