This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
