yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
