I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
