Define "chronic" masturbator.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
