Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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