I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
