I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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