Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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