Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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