so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
