I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
