My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
