I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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