so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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