Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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