So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
