Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
