Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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