he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
