David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize