There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
