they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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