can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
