There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
