CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
last night I used snow as a chaser
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
