): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
someone owes me an orgasm
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
