will power is for people who don't want to get laid
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
