woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
