So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
