Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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