Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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