This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
