So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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