I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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