Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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