dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
