the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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