Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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